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160+ School Jokes for Kids (Free Printable!)
Build excitement for back-to-school season or get kids laughing in the classroom with these clever jokes!
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Get ready for some class-act laughs! This collection of school jokes for kids is packed with silly puns and humor, making it perfect for kids of all ages and sharing at home, in the classroom, or on the go.
Printable jokes can also put a new twist on reading practice. Invite kids to take turns reading jokes to each other or have your child read a few of them at dinner or while driving to school. You can find 900+ more printable family-friendly jokes here.
TIP: Pair these jokes with our other free back-to-school activities, including back-to-school coloring pages, back-to-school worksheets and printables, and more!
School Jokes About Animals
What did the spider study at school?
- Web design
Why don’t sheep go to school?
- Because they’re baaaaad students!
Where do tigers sit in the classroom?
- Anywhere they want!
Why did the big cat get in trouble at school?
- He was lion!
What animal always gets in trouble for copying from other students?
- The cheetah!
What’s a skunk’s favorite school event?
- The smelling bee!
What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
- Hiss-tory!
Where do cats go on school field trips?
- The mew-seum!
Why wouldn’t the oyster lend its friend a pencil?
- It was a little shellfish.
What did the flamingo teacher do when she got mad?
- She put her foot down!
Why are fish so smart?
- Because they live in schools.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
- To get to the other slide!
Why did the dog do so well at school?
- She was the teacher’s pet!
Why was the dog so smart?
- He ate everyone’s homework!
What was the insect’s favorite school event?
- The spelling bee!
How did the bees get to school?
- They rode the school buzz!
What kind of dog is best at science?
- A lab-ratory retriever!
What time do ducks get up to go to school?
- At the quack of dawn!
Why did the squirrels get in trouble at school?
- They were acting nuts!
Why couldn’t the pony teacher talk in class?
- She was a little horse.
How did the squid get to school?
- On the octo-bus!
What do hogs use to write an essay?
- A pig pen!
What’s a caterpillar’s favorite subject?
- Moth-ematics!
What kind of snake loves math class?
- The adder!
Jokes About School Supplies
Where do crayons go on vacation?
- Color-ado
What’s the king of school supplies?
- The ruler!
What kind of band never plays music?
- A rubber band
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
- Pointless
What did the paper say to the pencil?
- That’s a good point!
What did the pencil say to the pencil sharpener?
- “Stop going in circles and get to the point!”
Why weren’t the students allowed to bring scissors to school?
- So they couldn’t cut class!
What did one calculator say to the other?
- You can count on me!
What did the glue say to the student who was struggling?
- Stick to it!
What did the paper say to the scissors?
- Looking sharp!
What’s the best way to get straight As?
- Use a ruler!
School Jokes About Dinosaurs
What do you call a dinosaur who loves crayons?
- Color-asaurus!
What did the dinosaur say after failing a test?
- I dino what I did wrong!
Why did the dinosaur eat its homework?
- Because it was hungry!
Why did the baby dinosaur bring a ladder to school?
- Because he wanted to go to high school!
What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary?
- A thesaurus.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves numbers?
- Count-osaurus!
I asked a librarian to recommend an author of dinosaur books.
- She said “Try Sarah Topps.”
English and Library Jokes for Kids
What does an English teacher eat for breakfast?
- Synonym rolls!
Why did the librarian take the clock out of the library?
- It tocks too much!
My teacher only taught us 25 letters of the alphabet.
- I don’t know Y.
What do librarians use for fishing bait?
- Bookworms!
What do Santa’s helpers learn at school?
- The elf-abet!
What did the teacher say when all the dictionaries were stolen?
- “I’m at a loss for words!”
Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe?
- The apostrophe was too possessive!
What do vampires learn at school?
- The alpha-bat!
What’s a witch’s favorite subject?
- Spell-ing.
Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet?
- They’re always getting lost at C!
Math Jokes for Kids
Why was the math book sad?
- It had too many problems.
What’s a math teacher’s favorite desert?
- Pi!
Where do math teachers go when they visit New York?
- Times Square!
Why did the student wear glasses in math class?
- To help with her long di-vision!
What tool do math teachers love best?
- Multi-pliers!
Why are math teachers so healthy?
- They eat three square meals a day!
What did the math teacher plant on Arbor Day?
- A geome-tree!
Are vampires good at math?
- Not unless you Count Dracula.
What did the cranky student say to his math homework?
- Solve your own problems, I’m busy!
What state really loves arithmetic?
- Math-achusetts!
Why do decimals think they’re better than fractions?
- Because fractions are pointless.
Where do math teachers eat lunch?
- At the multiplication table!
Why was the geometry teacher exhausted after running a race?
- He was out of shape.
What do you call a number that moves around a lot?
- A roamin’ numeral!
What did the students say after the teacher explained a math problem about money?
- “That makes cents!”
Why was the geometry teacher late to class?
- He sprained his angle.
What’s a math teacher’s favorite season?
- Sum-mer!
Where’s the warmest place in the classroom?
- The corner—it’s always 90 degrees!
Science Jokes for Kids
What’s a geology teacher’s favorite kind of music?
- Rock!
How do astronomy teachers prepare to teach a lesson?
- They plan-et.
What do science teachers eat when they have bad breath?
- Experi-mints!
What did the geology teacher say to the student who aced the test?
- You rock!
Why did the science teacher get fired?
- She only showed up periodically.
Why didn’t the science teacher trust the atoms?
- They make up everything!
What do science teachers post on Instagram?
- Cell-fies!
What does a science teacher decorate in December?
- A chemis-tree!
What do science teachers wear at school?
- Designer genes.
How did the students feel when they learned about electricity?
- Totally shocked.
Where do stars go to school?
- Universe-ity!
What’s the most educated part of the solar system?
- The sun—it has millions of degrees!
Music and Art Jokes for Kids
What will you find in a music teacher’s bathroom cabinet?
- A tuba toothpaste!
Why did the students love their art teacher?
- She was good at drawing out their creativity!
What kind of music do teachers like best?
- Class-ical!
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
- She left her keys on the piano!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
- To reach the high notes!
What class do pirates love the most?
- Arrrrrrt!
School Jokes About Teachers
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
- Because her students were so bright!
Why did the teacher write her lesson on the window?
- She wanted to make it clear to her students!
How did the vampire teacher check for understanding?
- A blood test!
What did the teacher do at the pool?
- Tested the water!
Why is an eye doctor like a teacher?
- They spend every day seeing pupils!
Why shouldn’t you trust a teacher with graph paper?
- They’re always plotting something!
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
- He couldn’t control his pupils!
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
- A teacher says, “Spit your gum out!” and a train says, “Chew, chew!
What should you do if a teacher rolls their eyes at you?
- Pick them up and roll them back!
What’s a college professor’s favorite snack?
- Academia nuts!
Why did the teacher make her students wear gloves in winter?
- Because the weather was snow joke!
Why did the teacher wear a helmet to class?
- She was teaching a “crash course!”
Why did the teacher forget to take attendance?
- He was absent-minded!
Why are gardeners such good teachers?
- They help their students grow!
School Jokes About Food
Why didn’t the banana go to school?
- It wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the student eat his homework?
- Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What kind of school teaches you to make ice cream?
- Sundae school!
What candy always makes the honor roll?
- Smarties!
What did the pickle say after he failed a test?
- “Don’t worry—it’s no big dill!”
Why are corn students so good at listening?
- They’re all ears!
Why did the clock get back late from the school cafeteria?
- It went back four seconds!
Why did the cookie stay home from school?
- It was feeling crummy.
What do hamburgers call their school dance?
- The Meat Ball!
Why was the egg known as the class clown?
- It loved to tell yolks!
What candy is always tardy to class?
- Choco-late!
Who picks up the little ear of corn from school each day?
- Pop corn!
What candy should you eat on the playground?
- Recess Pieces!
Why did the ice cream cone go home from school early?
- It was having a meltdown!
Silly School Jokes for Kids
Who is every student’s friend?
- The princi-pal!
Why was the nose sad in gym class?
- No one would pick it for their team!
Why did the student throw the clock out the window?
- He wanted to see time fly!
Why did the bicycle fall asleep at school?
- It was two tired.
What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
- “Supplies!”
Why did all the students tie their shoelaces together?
- They wanted to take a class trip!
What makes magicians so good at taking tests?
- They’re really good with trick questions!
Why did the kid cross the playground?
- To get to the other slide!
How do you get to the top of the class?
- Climb a ladder!
What kind of bus has no wheels?
- A sylla-bus!
What kind of school is the friendliest?
- Hi School!
Why did the students insist on taking the test at the top of a mountain?
- They wanted higher grades!
Why didn’t the ghost attend the school dance?
- He had no body to go with.
Why did the principal plant pine trees all around the school?
- She wanted to spruce up the place!
Where do carpenters go to learn?
- Boarding school!
Why didn’t the skeleton do well at school?
- His heart just wasn’t in it!
Why did the student sit on the clock?
- He wanted to be on time for class!
Why didn’t the pumpkin go to school?
- He wasn’t feeling gourd!
Why did the curtains do well in school?
- They were good at pulling things together!
Why did the sponge fail the test?
- It was soaking up the wrong answers!
Why was the broom late to school?
- It overswept!
Where will you find flowers growing in school?
- The kinder-garden!
How did the sailor’s kids get to school?
- On a scholar-ship!
Why did the echo get detention?
- It kept answering back!
When is a classroom door not a door?
- When it’s ajar!
How do you make school cool?
- Take away the S and H!
What do you call a student who’s good at reading maps?
- A legend!
Why did the computer stay home from school?
- It caught a virus.
Why was the watch so excited for summer vacation?
- It needed to unwind.
Why did the trees fail their exam?
- Every question had them stumped.
How did the beauty school student do on the manicure test?
- Nailed it!
Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
- He knew how to pass!
School Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Teddy!
Teddy who?
Teddy’s the first day of school!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don’t wear a belt!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goa-to bed early—it’s a school night!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Weirdo.
Weirdo who?
Weirdo you think you’re going—it’s time for school!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue done your homework yet?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Batter.
Batter who?
Batter hurry up, or you’ll be late to school!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kenya.
Kenya who?
Kenya drive me to school? I missed the bus!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke what a good grade I got on this test!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut forget to do your homework!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little help with your homework?
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